Ning's Audition - Pt. 1

Frankly, I don't see Ning as a comedian but he insists that he is and persuaded me to accompany him to his audition at The Long Tails Club the other afternoon.

When we arrived there, the place was already crowded with hundreds of cats of different shapes and colours. "You're going to have stiff competition, Ning," I told him but he was not daunted. After waiting for almost two hours, he was at last called in.

We found ourselves facing the panel of judges, all of whom had stern, sombre faces. There was a Siamese cat, two tabby cats and a white Persian. I could see Ning was getting a little nervous. "OK, Ning, show us what you can do!" said the Siamese cat.

Ning had told me previously that he was going to do his "Ning-Ninja" act, whatever that was but I was not prepared for what I was about to see! He put on a black mask, whipped out a sword and to my amazement, stood up on two legs and started prancing round the hall. He danced, twirled, fought invisible evil forces and did a couple of somersaults that sent him crashing into a pile of cardboard boxes at the side of the hall.

I saw the shocked faces of the judges and just as I thought Ning had killed himself , he poked his head through the debris and continued his act. I wasn't prepared for his finale either. He did what looked like a triple somersault and horror of horrors, landed in the middle of the judges' table with a loud thump! His sword went flying through the air and narrowly missed the white Persian. He lay there for a while and this time I thought he was truly dead - so did the judges. Then to my relief, he opened one eye, slowly pulled himself up and with a shaky apology, crawled off the table and staggered to where I was sitting.

"You're crazy, Ning, you could have killed yourself!" I shrieked. "We'd better get out of here!"

Before we could move, the Siamese cat, the first of the judges to recover, signalled to us. "Wait!" she said. "That was quite an act, Ning. We've never seen anything so funny! You've got the job!" With that she and the other judges burst into laughter.

Well, well, what do you know! Ning hugged me and I hugged him and we both left the club in jovial spirits. We ran back to the temple and told Head Nun the good news. She was a little taken aback but promised Ning that she would come with me on his opening night to give him moral support.