“Really, Da, I don’t know how you can stick it out here,” he said. “There are so many exciting things to do outside this temple and a young guy like you should go out and have fun while you still can.”
“Thanks, Li,” I said, “but no thank you. I’m quite happy and content with my spiritual life here.”
“I know, I know,” he said impatiently. “Those saintly God fearing nuns love you and all that jazz. But isn’t it rather dull and lonely here? I’d go mad living in a place like this.”
I laughed. “Alright, Li, just tell me why you have come.”
“Oh, yes,” said Li, his eyes shining. “I’ve just come back from a cruise!”
“A what?” I couldn’t believe my ears.
“A cruise!” he repeated. “Look, you’d never think this possible but one evening a friend and I stowed away on board a luxury liner that was anchored at the wharf. We stealthily boarded the ship together with a crowd of holidaymakers and in the commotion, nobody saw us. We then made our way down to the kitchen and hid there.”
“You’re nuts!” was all I could say.
He ignored me and carried on. “The ship sailed at around 8 that night and very soon dinner was served. Boy, you should have seen the fantastic array of food they had – fresh salmon, trout, pomfret, name it, they’ve got it! The cooks and their assistants were so busy they did not notice us helping ourselves to some of the stuff on the kitchen tables. We finished off with scrumptious mousse, peaches and cream and cheesecake. They also had caviar and champagne but we were too full. We really had a ball!”
It all sounded very exciting and I suppose it would be nice to have a piece of cheesecake for a change. Our veg meals at the temple are pretty bland and all that is washed down by plain water or soya if the cook doesn’t forget to buy it.
“Then, after dinner,” continued Li. “We crept out of the kitchen and went on deck. It was so cool and breezy. We snuggled under some blankets left on the deckchairs and watched the waves roll by. Fortunately we were in a dark corner on the starboard side of the ship and nobody saw us. Anyway most of the passengers were either gambling or enjoying a cabaret show inside.”
A cabaret show! I had never seen one before. Li said it was all two legged ladies wearing scanty clothes and dancing the night away. He found it boring, to him the human anatomy was nothing exciting or interesting to look at.
“Aah, if it were Lucy Lamour, I would have gone to the show!” he added. I had never heard of Lucy Lamour but from what Li told me, she was a sensational, hot blooded cat, famous for her sexy and tantalizing strip tease acts. She would wear frills and jewellery on her body and tail and slowly take them off one by one.
Wow, that's real hot stuff and for a moment, temptation caught hold of me and I almost, yeah almost, asked Li to take me to one of her shows. I came down to earth with a big bang, literally - when Head Nun made a timely appearance, banging the door after her. Strange that she should appear at that moment – the angels from Nirvana must have been hovering above me listening to all that was being said and making sure I wasn’t carried away by the devil.
Li continued, “The ship docked the next morning at around 8 and we quickly slipped down the gangway. Again nobody noticed us. We’re thinking of doing this again some time. By the way, Lucy will be appearing next week at the Long Tails Night Club. Want to come along?” asked Li, a sly smile on his face.
I took a deep breath. “Sorry to disappoint you, Li. The angels are protecting me and they won’t let you take me to hell.”
Li roared with laughter. “Angels! Hell! You’re the one who’s nuts, not me! My dear chap, you don’t know what you’re missing. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Any time you change your mind, you know where the Club is.”
I bid him farewell and hoped he wouldn't return.
“What was all that about?” asked Head Nun.
I gave a little nervous laugh. “Oh, nothing. Cousin Li just came to say hello.” Head Nun didn’t look very convinced but left it at that. I was tempted to ask her whether she had heard of a famous cat called Lucy Lamour but decided to let sleeping cats lie.
Oh, that’s a photo of Lucy below. Don’t ask me how I got it because I’m not telling.
Picture from "My Pampered Cats".
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