Murder in the Coop

It all began when we heard a commotion in the coop.  Head Nun, always concerned for her family of feathered friends, went to investigate and I followed her.

Bruce Lee was jumping up and down outside the coop when we arrived.  

"A rooster is dead - someone killed him," he screamed, flapping his wings.

"What?" gasped Head Nun.  

"Well, nobody knows exactly what happened - I shall have to investigate!" replied Bruce Lee tersely.

Head Nun groaned, then said to me, "Vege Cat, I'm too old for this kind of drama.  You look into this and report back to me."

"Ok, Head Nun," I said.  "Don't worry, we'll find out what happened."

Bruce Lee led me to the scene of the crime.  I saw that two hens were standing over the dead body of a rooster.  One of them was a white hen popularly known as Ms. Penny and the other, a brown hen called Ms. Brown who, I had heard earlier, was disliked by most of the hens.  She had often picked trouble with them over petty things and was selfish, arrogant and just plain nasty.

Ms. Penny was weeping frantically and Ms. Brown was standing over her accusing her of killing Mr.R. (the rooster).o

"I did not kill him," protested poor Ms. Penny.  

"Alright, please calm down, tell us what happened," I said to Ms. Penny.

"Well, early this morning, Mr. R. dragged me out of the coop and tried to seduce me, I rejected him and we had a fight.  In the struggle, he fell and accidentally knocked his head against a rock.  I didn't kill him!"

"She's lying," shouted Ms. Brown.  "She was jealous because Mr. R. had eyes only for me and in her anger, she killed him by hitting him with a stone!"

"That's not true," wailed Ms. Penny.  "You're making it up because Mr. R. didn't want you!  You're the jealous one, not me!"

"Alright, alright," snapped Bruce Lee.  "Let's settle this properly. Someone call Turkey Lurkey (TL), we shall appoint him as the judge of this murder case."

"Look, I have no experience in this sort of thing," TL said to Bruce Lee, who turned a deaf ear to his protests and ordered the three of us to sit together to begin the investigation. Meanwhile the hens and roosters had gathered round to witness the proceedings.

"I did not kill him," protested poor Ms. Penny

I must say TL handled everything quite well despite his claim that he knew nothing about conducting criminal cases.  Before allowing the hens to tell their story, he said, "May I remind both of you, Ms. Penny and Ms. Brown, that perjury is a grave offence.  The punishment is life imprisonment at the Prison for Bad Birds (PBB) or exile from the coop forever, never to return.  As you know, life outside the coop is hard, you will face adversaries in the form of humans and animals who will only be too ready to gobble you up for dinner. So think carefully before you say anything."

He then asked Ms. Penny to tell her side of the story, then Ms. Brown was asked to tell her side of the story.  

"Do both of you have any witnesses?" he asked.  

Ms. Penny started weeping again and shook her head.  Apparently everyone was still fast asleep that morning and didn't  hear anything.  As for Ms. Brown, she couldn't produce a witness either.  Then, suddenly, we heard a flutter of wings and in flew Mei, the white dove that lives in the eaves of the temple roof.  

"I can give evidence that Ms. Penny is telling the truth," she said.  All the hens and roosters started talking at the same time. 

TL clapped his wings together (in the absence of a judge's hammer) and yelled, "Silence!  Let's hear what this bird has to say."

"Well," began Mei.  "I was flying back to the temple early this morning and stopped to rest on the roof of the coop.  I happened to look down and saw Mr. R. drag Ms. Penny outside.  She was fighting hard to defend herself from his amorous advances and in the struggle, he fell and knocked his head on a rock..  That blow killed him, not Ms. Penny."  

A ripple of ooh's and aah's ran through the crowd.  

Ms. Brown, her face ashen, stood silent, unable to speak.  

"Ms. Brown, what do you have to say in the light of this new evidence bearing in mind

you do not have a witness?" asked TL.  "Did you or did you not lie in order to frame Ms. Penny for Mr. R.'s death because you were jealous of her?"

The crowd became unruly again, some shouting "She's guilty!", "Punish her!" and things like that.

TL clapped his wings together again.  "Ms. Brown, do I take your silence to mean that you admit to being guilty of lying?"

Suddenly, Ms. Brown started screaming and tried to rush out of the coop.  The roosters immediately pounced on her and pinned her down.  

"Mercy, I beg for mercy!" she began wailing.  "I didn't mean to do it, please don't send me to the PBB!"

TL looked at Bruce Lee and said, "Well, there's no more to be said.  Ms. Brown is guilty of perjury.  Bruce Lee, you're her boss.  You decide what you want to do with her."

Bruce Lee puffed out his chest, then said, "I am disgusted that this evil hen should be among us.  But since she begged for mercy, I shall be lenient.  She is to be kicked out of the coop immediately and never show her face here again."

"Done!" said TL, clapping his wings.  Ms. Brown was led away by the roosters to be thrown away somewhere far from the coop.

The crowd of hens and roosters dispersed, some congratulated TL on a job well done and I could see many were glad to be rid of Ms. Brown. Ms. Penny was very grateful to Mei for her help and they became fast friends.  Later we gave Mr. R. a decent burial and soon everything quietened down.  

Head Nun was of course relieved that the case was justly solved.  As for Bruce Lee, he gave a stern warning to his roosters to behave themselves otherwise he would take "drastic measures"! 

There's a moral to this story: always remember that Karma is watching you - do good and you will be rewarded, do bad and you suffer the consequences.  So, my friends, be careful!

"Thank you so much, Mei.  You saved my life!"