Gobble, Gobble

 

How time flies!  We're nearing the end of the year and Christmas will be here soon.  Once again, there's a lot of de-cluttering to be done, yes, even in a temple.  The nuns have a knack of keeping empty bottles and tins which they feel will come in "useful" one day but that one day never seems to come.   Head Nun is adamant in throwing out these items for recycling this year, so now the kitchen looks cleaner and less congested.

Then one of the nuns brought out the old Christmas tree which has seen many Christmases with them in the temple.  It looked a little forlorn but a couple of nuns cleaned it up and soon it was as good as new. 

Last year, unknown to the nuns, our two ghost pals, HD and PH went out of their way to arrange presents for the nuns but this year, Head Nun very firmly told the two spooks "No more presents!". She said that the nuns are on a spiritual journey and should learn not to be attached to all things mundane.   So no more discussion on the subject, period.

Just when we thought that there would be no more excitement for the rest of the year, there came a big commotion from the coop one morning.  We rushed there and saw to our surprise that a turkey had found his way there and Bruce Lee was shouting his head off at the poor creature and trying to drive him away, but he refused to budge.  

"Look, my dear," said Head Nun, addressing the turkey.   "How can we help you?  Have you lost your way?"

The turkey shook his head.  "My name's Turkey Lurkey," he said.  "I'm not lost.  I ran away from a farm because I don't want to be carved up for Thanksgiving..."  and he burst into tears.

Touched, Head Nun said, "Alright, alright, you can stay here for the time being.  Bruce Lee, you could at least show some sympathy to this poor creature.  Give him a corner of your coop and treat him nicely."

Bruce Lee made some unintelligible noises and reluctantly told T.L. to follow him inside. As it turned out, T.L. became a great favourite with the hens, much to Bruce Lee's jealousy.  They loved listening to his stories after being tired of hearing Bruce Lee's "adventures" every other night and even kept a lookout for him in case his owner should come looking for him, which he did one morning.  

He was a big burly man with a moustache and you could tell he only cared for the money he could make out of his turkeys.  Head Nun had gone to visit a sick friend and was not expected back until the next morning.  In her absence, APK told him very sweetly that we had not seen any runaway turkey.  He looked at her suspiciously and threatened he would raid the coop if the nuns were hiding his turkey but APK, backed by her fellow nuns, stood firm and told him to get lost.

After he had gone, APK said to me thoughtfully, "Vege Cat, I think we should hide T.L. somewhere.  What if that horrible man does come back tonight and raid the coop?"

"Yes, you've got a point there," I said.  All the other nuns agreed that something should be done to save T.L. and since there was no higher authority to refer to, APK took the initiative to hide T.L. in the storeroom in the temple.  She gave him some food and water and told him to be quiet.  Fortunately nothing happened during the night and the next morning, after meditation, we prepared breakfast for Head Hun's return.

We had somehow forgotten about poor T.L. in the storeroom, busy as we were with our duties and when Head Nun returned and went to the storeroom to get something, we were startled to hear a loud shriek.  

"OMG .... T.L.!" gasped APK, dropping the spoon of oats she was carrying.

There was a hush as Head Nun returned to the kitchen.  She looked at the nuns, drew in a deep breath, then said, "I don't think it's my imagination but just now as I entered the storeroom, I not only saw a pair of beady eyes staring at me from the darkness but I also heard some weird sounds.  Now, perhaps one of you can tell me what's going on?"

Everyone looked at APK.  There was no escape for her and bowing her head low, she stammered an explanation and how T.L. came to be in the storeroom.  

Head Nun was silent for a moment, then said, "I should have known that you would be behind this farce.  Alright, I'm not going to scold or punish you, you did what you thought was a humanitarian act.  Just get T.L. out of there and put him back in the coop - NOW!"

APK fled to the storeroom, scooped up a frightened T.L. and was about to take him back to the coop when there came loud banging on the front door.  One of the nuns went to look, it was the burly farmer and he had two other men with him and the three of them forced their way into the kitchen.

"I knew it," the farmer yelled.  "They've got our turkey with them, give him back to us you no good thieves or I shall call the police!"

APK stood rooted to the spot, while a shivering T.L. started making funny gobbling noises.  It was of course Head Nun who saved the situation.

Diving a hand into her pocket, she took out some money, thrust it at the farmer and said calmly, "We've just bought your turkey.  He belongs to us now, so please leave."

The farmer was quite taken aback but he couldn't refuse the thick wad of money offered to him.  He snorted, called his friends and they left.

The silence in the kitchen after they had gone was electrifying.  Then APK suddenly shouted, "Three cheers for Head Nun, hip hip hurray, hip hip hurray, hip hip hurray!"  The other nuns started cheering and it was difficult even for an austere person like Head Nun to keep a straight face.

"Alright, enough!" she said.  "Why are you cheering?  If you think that was a good move on my part, my dear nuns, then you should know that I just gave away the money I was going to use to buy our meals this week.  So I'm afraid you all will have to eat plain white rice for the next few days, unless .... (and here she looked at T.L.) .... unless you want to have an early Thanksgiving ...."

The word "Thanksgiving" was like a time bomb for T.L.  Shrieking with fear, he struggled free from APK's arms and ran helter skelter towards the coop, calling for Bruce Lee to save him!  

Well, I'm so glad it's another happy ending.... now we have a new permanent addition to the coop and thanks to a generous devotee who gave us some tinned veg food, we didn't have to survive on rice and water until our next meal allowance.  Something tells me there's lots more excitement to come in the not too distant future ...

Cat Wisdom

 

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival

 

The festival is here at last!  Happy Mid-Autumn Festival and may the glow of the moon light your way to good health, happiness and prosperity!

With Metta,

Da

(17th September 2024)

Danger in the Coop

Yay, the Hungry Ghost Festival is over and we can now look forward to the Mid-Autumn Festival!  This year we heard that Chief Nun of the hill temple would be going to China over the festive period and so no invitation from her to spend the festival up there.  Many kind devotees had already presented Head Nun with boxes of mooncakes and moon biscuits and she usually divides them into those for prayer and those for the nuns to enjoy.  

Since we can't wait until the festival comes along in about two weeks' time, Head Nun very kindly arranged for a small "mooncake party" for the nuns in the kitchen the other evening.  The nuns were delighted as there was a good variety of mooncakes to choose from.  Mooncakes are not really my favourite but they insisted I had a small piece just to join in the fun.

So there we were munching away when there came a loud knocking on the front door.  APK and I went to investigate and were surprised to see two policemen in uniform outside.  

"What's the problem, officers?" asked APK.

"We came to warn you that a mentally deranged man has escaped from the mental home in the village.  He is armed with a knife and could be headed this way.  So keep your doors and windows tightly shut.  If you see anything suspicious, call us," said the officer.

"Thank you, officer, for warning us," said APK, now a little nervous.  

The officers sped off in their police car and we ran back to the kitchen to tell Head Nun and the others.  Head Nun immediately told us to lock all doors and windows securely and after we had done that, we returned to the kitchen where we all sat down and chanted a few mantras.  

The next morning, after meditation, Head Nun requested APK and I to visit the chicken coop to see whether Bruce Lee and his hens were alright.  It was nearly 7 am and quite bright already.  APK banged on the door and called out several times for Bruce Lee.  After some time, the door slowly creaked open and a bleary eyed Bruce Lee emerged.

"Why are you guys here so early?" he croaked.  "I haven't even done my morning call!"

"We wanted to make sure you and your ...er ... girls are ok," said APK.  She then told him about the mad man who had escaped from the mental home.

Bruce Lee looked at us, then cocked his head to the right and winked at us.  Then he cocked his head to the left and winked at us.  Then to our surprise he did a little jig and walked backwards into the coop and shut the door in front of him.

"Hey, what's with him?" asked APK.  "Why is he behaving so strangely?"

"Perhaps he's caught a bug," I said.  "I've never seen him act like this before."

"Well, I suppose they're all safe, otherwise he would have said something, you know him and his big mouth," said APK.  "I'll return to the temple and tell Head Nun."

She ran off but I remained behind.  My sixth sense told me that something was not quite right.  Was Bruce Lee trying to tell us something?  I decided to sneak back to the coop and take a look through one of the windows.  Trying to be as quiet as possible, I stretched myself up and peeped into a window at the back.

What I saw gave me a shock.  Firstly I saw that all the hens were cowering on the ground and standing in the middle of the coop was a huge man.  He was gloating over them, a knife in his hand. Then, horror of horrors, I saw Bruce Lee hanging upside down from the ceiling!  It looked like the man had strung him up there and I suddenly realized that he must be no other than the mad guy himself!  He had probably been hiding in the coop the whole night and when we knocked on the door earlier, I guess he had  threatened Bruce Lee that he would kill the hens if he gave him away.

I immediately ran back to the temple, told Head Nun who called the police and in a short while, they came, surrounded the coop, took the man by surprise and escorted him away.  A police officer then cut the rope and brought Bruce Lee down.

"What took you all so long?" shrieked a dishevelled Bruce Lee.  "I could have died hanging up there!"

"Calm down, Bruce Lee," said Head Nun.  "You should thank Vege Cat for saving you all.  If he hadn't suspected something was wrong when you acted weirdly, that mad man would have made minced chicken out of all of you!"

"Okay, okay, so he saved us but only because I acted smart, " he replied haughtily.  "But my girls will never get over the shock.  I shall have a headache nursing them back to health!  What's more, I lost some of my beautiful feathers when that maniac strung me up!  I shall sue him for causing me bodily harm!"  He grumbled on and on until Head Nun got quite annoyed.

"Look, I shall put a barbed wire fence round the coop ...."

"Not only that but a CCTV and fire alarm," demanded Bruce Lee loudly.  "We don't want to be roasted alive nor do we want to be victims of another lunatic!"  The  hens clucked their support from behind, making quite a din.

"What is this, some kind of rebellion?" said Head Nun in exasperation.  "Alright, I have heard your demands and will look into them.  I am as concerned about your safety as you are.  Now please get back inside!"

Bruce Lee opened his mouth to say something but shut it again. The "boss" (Head Nun) could  refuse to give them food for the whole day for being naughty, so it was better to keep quiet.  He strutted back into the coop with his hens but not without an arrogant flap of his wings.

Head Nun kept her word and put up the barbed wire fence, for a start.  The temple didn't have the budget for a CCTV and a fire alarm, so that had to wait.

In the next two or three days, we didn't hear Bruce Lee's wake up call.  APK said he must be busy attending to his girls but after that, he was out there crowing his head off again and we knew peace once more reigned in the coop.  

The Buddha Said ...

 

Cat Wisdom

 

Whatever Will Be Will Be ...

It's here again, the Hungry Ghost Festival which is going to last one long month.  Since knowing Humpty Dumpty and Pumpkin Head, it has been less scary for me because like the good pals they are, they have assured me they will protect me from naughty or unfriendly spooks who are out to get innocent cats.  So I now I can go to bed without having to hide under my blanket or wear shades!  It is most unfortunate that both of them had such a tragic end to their lives - HD fell ten stories from his apartment and PH was beheaded by loan sharks.  They wouldn't have been able to rest in peace if  Head Nun hadn't given them room in the "Palace" where they now reside happily.

So we were relaxing in the kitchen and HD said that if he had his life to live all over again, he would work hard to be a millionaire.  Apart from giving himself all the best in life, he would also do charitable work, like building schools, houses for the poor, etc. etc.  PH said all he wanted is to be born in a big family where he would be loved by his brothers and sisters and of course his parents because he had been an orphan all his life and never knew love.

"And what would you want to be, Vege Cat?  Surely not a cat again?" HD asked me.

I wanted to say that it is my goal to be free from this cycle of birth and death and never be born again, but thought that maybe that would be too difficult for two ghosts to understand.  So I said, "I will be whatever the Buddha wants me to be."

The two ghosts gave me the "thumbs up", I went to bed and so ended another day.

Happy International Cat Day - 8th August 2024

 

Wishing all our feline friends many more years of joy, hugs and kisses!

With Metta,

Da

P.S. to the Humans: Don't forget to hug your cat!

The Garden of Cats

 Story told by Ning

Yawn!  Overslept today after a long night at the Club.  Got a message from Ling to see her  tonight, she had something to urgent to tell me.  That female is always full of surprises, what is it this time, I wondered.

She was waiting impatiently behind the bar when I arrived.  

"Ning," she called, beckoning noto me.  "Look, I need a favour from you.  There's a newcomer in town and he's been here for the last two or three nights.  I want you to pretend you're my boyfriend when he comes, okay?"

"What?" I said.  "Pretend I'm your boyfriend and get beaten up in the process?  No way!"

"Please, please, Ning," she wailed.  Then before I could say anything more, the subject of our conversation swaggered in.  I must say he was a handsome cat with black and white fur and green eyes.  He immediately came over to where we were standing and said, "Hello, Ling.  And who is this?" 

I opened my mouth to say that I'm a regular at the Club but Ling cut in and said, "He's my boyfriend, Ning."

"Aha!" said he.  "Hello there, my name's Marcus.  How about you two joining me for a drink?"

I nodded but Ling intervened.  "Marcus, if you'll excuse us, my boss has asked Ning and I to have a drink with him," she said, pulling me away.

We made a beeline towards the boss' office and when the coast was clear, she said, "Thanks, Ning,"

"Hey, what's with you and that guy?  Don't you like him?  He seems okay to me."

"Ning, this is the first time you have met him.  He was here the last two nights, we had drinks together and I can feel it in my bones he's DANGER and I don't want to be near him!"

"Well, I can't be protecting you every night, you know," I said.  "Look, you'll have to solve this one yourself.  Besides, I'm running out of dough, I'll have to skip a few nights from now on."

"Wait, I'll lend you some money, just don't leave me alone with him!" Ling pleaded.

Marcus didn't attempt to speak to us again and I noticed that he left the Club just a little after 12 a.m.  When I left a while later and turned into the street, I heard a voice calling me.  I turned round and I should have guessed - it was Marcus.  He probably wanted a fight and I steeled myself for it.  But I was surprised when he talked to me in a friendly tone.  He asked a little about Ling, how long I had known her and told me  about himself.  It appeared that he was some kind of artist and specialised in making statues.

"Hey, if you're not doing anything tomorrow morning, let me show you my work," he said.  "I have a little garden patch not far from here."  I was of course curious, so I said okay and agreed to meet him the next day.

Marcus' garden was a small patch behind some houses.  He was very proud of it and I was quite amazed at the many stone statues of cats which he had created.  

"These statues are very lifelike, you're pretty good," I complimented him.

"They're all my ex-girl friends," he said.  

"Really!"  I said.  "Did you create them from memory or did they pose for you?"

"Both!" he replied, smiling.

I walked around some plants and flowers and came across a statue almost hidden by a rose bush.  As I looked closer, I saw with a start that it looked very much like Ling.  Marcus saw my reaction and asked, "You like this one?"

"It looks amazingly like Ling," I said.

Marcus laughed.  "It is Ling!"

"It is?" I repeated, still startled.  "Er - when did she pose for you?"

"Last night," he said.

"Last night?  But we were all at the Club last night!" I said, surprised.  

Marcus didn't give me a reply. He just said he had something to do but I could stay in the garden as long as I liked.

I was getting a little uncomfortable.  For one thing, I didn't believe that Ling would pose for him when she was so scared of him, and he did leave the Club before me.  He must have gone back to the Club after he met me in the street, I thought to myself.  Something was not right.

After he had gone, I went back to Ling's statue and studied it closely.  She looked like she had been taken by surprise and when I looked closer, I was shocked to see tears coming out of her eyes!  "OMG, am I seeing things?"  I said to myself.  I had to investigate.  I ran back to the Club.  Of course at this time, hardly anyone was there, only  the cleaning lady who was tidying up the chairs.  

"Madam, is Ling here?"  I asked.  (Ling lives in a small room at the back of the Club).

"No, there's no one in her room when I went there to clean."

"Did you see her go out last night?"  I asked.

She thought for a while, then said, "Yes, come to think of it, I saw her leave with a black and white last night, after you left."  

"You're sure? And she never came back?"

"She didn't come back last night, that's for sure, because I was the last one to lock up and leave.  I took it that she and that black and white had gone somewhere to have fun, so I didn't wait for her. I was the first to come this morning and she's not back yet.  Hey, what's going on?"

"Oh...nothing, never mind....thanks!"

I didn't know what to think but goose pimples were already running up and down my spine.  I decided to go back to the garden.  I went to Ling's statue, the tears were still in her eyes.

"Still here?" said a voice behind me.  It was Marcus.

I decided to take the bull by the horns.

"Look, I don't know who or what you are but I have a hunch you've turned Ling into stone like all the other cats here!" I yelled at him.

Marcus smiled.  "You're smarter than I thought!  Yes, I turned them all into beautiful works of art as you can see!"

"But what have they done to you?  You said they were your girlfriends...."

"So they were but they never really cared for me!  They pretended to love me, then dumped me for someone else... they're all cruel, heartless bitches and they deserve to be turned into stone!". His face had turned ugly as he said this.

"But Ling never did anything to you..." I protested.

 "She rejected me even though I'm was so nice to her and she had you pretend to be her boyfriend, don't think I don't know!  They're all the same, proud, greedy, selfish bitches...!"

"Look, I want you to bring Ling back to life right now, do you hear?" I snarled at him.

He looked at me, a smirk on his face.  "Only if you give me something precious," he said.

"Damn it, you know I don't have money or anything valuable!" 

"I wasn't thinking of money.  You know what I want?  I want the heart of your precious friend, the one who is a cat monk. His heart is so pure I want to fill it with evil and destroy it!"

"What?  You're insane!" I was so enraged that I lunged at his throat and for a while, we grappled and fought.  He was stronger than I thought and soon he had me pinned down.  Saliva was coming out of his mouth and I saw to my horror that he had sharp fangs like Dracula's.  It looked like he was about to suck every drop of blood from my body!

"This is the end, old boy," I thought to myself and then just as I was about to black out, I heard Da's voice.  He was chanting "Om Mani Padme Me Hum", I had often heard him chant this and he had told me that whenever I was in danger, I should chant these words.  With all the strength I could muster, I blurted out "On Mani Padme Hum".

I saw Marcus recoil, then all of a sudden two huge black dogs appeared from nowhere, pounced on him and dragged him off.  I heard some screaming and shrieking in the distance, then all was silent.

I sat up in a daze and suddenly realised that the whole garden had vanished and I was sitting on a rough track of sand and mud.  Then I heard a voice behind me, "Ning!  What happened?  Where are we?"

I turned round and saw that it was Ling!  She had returned to life and so had the other cats in the garden.  They all crowded round me and one of them said, "Thank you for saving us.  If you hadn't come on the scene, we would have been imprisoned in our stone bodies for eternity!"

I took Ling back to the Club, told her what had happened and asked her to lock herself securely in her room.  Although the dogs had killed Marcus, it was still wise to be cautious.  I then decided to find Da.

He had just finished praying when I arrived and as soon as he saw me, he ran towards me and asked, "Ning, are you alright?"

"I think so," I replied shakily. 

 Da continued excitedly." I was praying just now when suddenly I had this terrible feeling that you were in danger.  I started to chant more fervently until the feeling vanished, then you came!"

I told him the whole story and that I had actually heard his voice chanting.  He was amazed but very relieved that no harm had come to me.  

I never did see those dogs again and nobody in that area seemed to know about them.

The power of prayer had saved me.

Ning

Keep Your Gifts

 

Buddha was seated alone one day, and later, some men gathered around him. One among them who did not like his teachings and the effect it had on the people, got up and started a tirade in very vulgar terms against him. 

Buddha sat smiling listening to all that calumny, without a single gesture of disapproval. The man got frothy in the mouth through rage, his vocabulary was getting exhausted fast, his tongue began to show signs of overwork, but, Buddha only asked him with a smile: "Brother, have you finished"? 

The man said: "You have no sense of shame; you do not even react when I abuse you. You are thick skinned; you are a log of wood."

Buddha asked him: "If a person does not accept a gift, what happens to it?" 

The man said: "It remains with the giver."

Buddha replied: "Well, keep these gifts of abusive words with you, brother! I do not accept and react."

With Metta,

Da