Ling

 Story told by Ning

The other evening when I went to the club, Ling told me that the boss of the club had asked her to replace one of the strip tease dancers who had fallen ill; she had turned him down and he had sacked her on the spot for refusing him.

"I don't know what to do now," she said.  "I have to leave tomorrow and have no place to stay."  She had been staying in a small room on the club premises which was provided by the club and at such short notice, I can understand her dilemma.

"I didn't think he would be so unreasonable," I said, frowning.  "Can't he get someone else to replace that dancer?"

Ling shook her head.  "Getting a new dancer would cost him a lot of money and he can't afford it.  That's why he's so mad!  Can you help me find some place to stay?" 

Initially I thought she could stay temporarily with Ms. Oh but then that would be putting an extra burden on her as she already has two cats and an old lady to take care of and besides, she hadn't been too happy with me for refusing to be Shanti's Godfather, so staying there is out.  I then thought of Tom's Home but they also could not afford to take in another cat as they are running on very meagre funds.

Then, suddenly, Ling put her arms around my neck and said, "Hey, why don't I come to stay with you?"

I almost choked.  "Er ...what? Stay with me?"

"Yes, you're staying alone, aren't you?" she said, looking at me with smoldering eyes.

All this while, I had stayed sometimes at Ah Hoe's and sometimes in my "bachelor pad" when I come home late from the club. It's just a  small space in an abandoned house but it's good enough for me.  But to have a live-in "tenant" is definitely out of the question.

I removed her arms from around my neck and said, "Sorry, Ling, my place is. .... er .... too small for two, besides it's not good enough for a gal like you, it's messy and the roof leaks..."

She laughed, slapped my shoulder and said, "You coward!  Look, I'm only kidding.  I know you too well! It's ok, I'll manage."

I felt rather bad that night when I left the club but honestly, the thought of a female staying with me gives me the creeps.  She would be nagging me to clean this and that and hogging the bathroom.  No way!  I know Ah Hoe wouldn't mind taking her in but he's old and rickety, it would be too much trouble for him having to feed another cat.  I went to sleep that night trying to think of something.

It was only when I met Da the next morning that I found the solution!  I told him about Ling and asked whether she could stay at the temple temporarily.  Da said I would have to ask for Head Nun's approval, which I did, and bless the woman, she said Ling could stay at the temple, especially as it is the rainy season now and she didn't want her to catch cold and fall sick. 

So it was all arranged.  Ling was a little shocked when I told her she was going to stay at the temple.  "What?  Look, I won't know what to do there - do I have to be a goodie goodie and pray and meditate and so on - I don't think it's the right place for me!" I assured her that the nuns would not force her to do anything she didn't want to, besides Da would be there if she needed any help.  I would also try to find another place for her asap so that she need not trouble the nuns for too long.

So that morning after she was thrown out of the club, I took her to the temple and introduced  her to Da.  She looked at him and said, "Ning, you never told  me you have such a good looking friend." Suddenly I wondered whether it was such a good idea to bring Ling to the temple to stay.  She's ok but having worked in the club for some time chumming up with amorous and uncouth tom cats, she can be very bold and brassy.

"Er ... He's a monk," I said quickly.  

"Really?" she said, rather surprised.

I could see that Da was getting a little uncomfortable.  He had been living in the temple for years with only the nuns for company and an attractive feline like Ling made him feel nervous.  Fortunately Head Nun arrived at that moment and took charge of Ling.

"Don't worry, old chap," I said to Da.  "She won't give you any trouble."

He looked a little uncertain but didn't say anything.

Da continues the story...

Head Nun gave Ling a small corner of the storeroom which is the only space available.  Ling didn't mind and was more concerned about what to do at the temple everyday.  In addition, she had to get used to a vegetarian diet and though she didn't like it, she knew better than to complain.  Head Nun suggested that she could observe our prayers and meditation sessions while at the temple, which she did, but I could see that she was bored stiff.

One evening, I was shocked to find her lying in my basket in the kitchen.  I was preparing to go to bed and I certainly didn't expect to see her in MY basket.  

"Oh there you are," she drawled. "Hey, can't we go out somewhere and have some fun?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes. "It's so boring here!"

"Sorry, Ling, we are not allowed out after 7, temple rules.  Er...what are you doing in my basket?"

She put on her most seductive smile and said, "Thought I'd keep you company tonight ...."

I told her firmly that I am a cat monk and cat monks don't sleep with their female friends but she ignored me and tried to pull me into the basket with her.  I struggled to free myself, then suddenly I heard her let out a shrill scream.  She was pointing a shaking paw at something behind me. I turned round and saw to my surprise that it was HD and PH!  They were going "oooooo" and "eeeeee" and were staggering along like zombies.  Screaming with fear, Ling flew out of my basket, jumped through the kitchen window and disappeared into the night!

I heaved a sigh of relief and gasped, "Thanks, guys, you saved my life!"

"Our pleasure," replied HD.

"But what are you two doing here?"

"Well, we couldn't sleep, so we decided to take a stroll through the temple and saw that hussy trying to seduce you and thought you may need some help!" replied HD.

"You arrived just in time, thank God!" I said, wiping the sweat off my forehead.

"How could she be so shameless, trying to seduce a monk," said PH, shaking his pumpkin head.

"Oh dear, what shall I tell Head Nun?" I said. 

"Just tell her she saw some ghosts and ran away," said HD, laughing.  They bid me goodnight and floated back to their niche.

The next morning I told Head Nun what had happened, that Ling had been scared off by some ghosts she saw (I didn't mention they were HD and PH) and had run away.  I also thought it would be better not to mention the "seduction" part. "You will have to explain to Ning," Head Nun said.  From the look she gave me, I suspected she knew I was hiding something but luckily she didn't ask further.

Ning came along later but before I could tell him, he said that Ling had already told him what had happened the night before. She had run straight to the club knowing she would find him there.  

"She was terrified," said Ning.  "Did you see the ghosts as well?"

"I see them all the time," I replied quite truthfully.

"Really?  I thought they only come out during the Hungry Ghost Festival, how come they're still here?"

"They're here all the time, but not everyone can see them," I replied, wishing that Ning wouldn't ask too much.

"Anyway," continued Ning.  "The good news is that the strip tease dancers went on strike when they heard that Ling had been fired and refused to perform unless the boss gave her back her job.  He had no choice but to agree.  The dancers re-arranged their dance routine to cover for the sick dancer and so all's well now."

"Glad to hear that, Ning."

 "Oh, by the way, Ling asked me to give you this envelope."

I took it and found a note of apology inside from Ling for her "undignified " behavior that night.

Ning was bursting with curiosity  and asked," Hey, aren't you going to tell me what's it all about?"

I grinned and said "No!" and ran to the prayer hall to start prayers.  What a great relief to know that Ling won't be returning to the temple!  I guess she won't be coming anywhere near us in the future, thanks to my two good old ghost buddies!