We were woken up one morning by a loud commotion from the backyard. Head Nun and I rushed to the scene to find the hens running around in circles and flapping their wings in great distress. After they had calmed down, we learnt that Bruce Lee had been kidnapped! The hens said it probably happened in the middle of the night because when they woke up in the early morning, he was gone.
"He's going to be cut up and eaten for dinner," wailed some of the nuns.
"Alright, alright, keep calm," said Head Nun. "He's pretty smart. He'll be back, mark my words."
There was nothing we could do except wait and see.
Some two kilometres away
Old Skinny was seen carrying a sack into his dilapidated hut near the river. "What have you got there, old man, gold bars?" mocked a few of his neighbours. He ignored them, went into his hut and shut the door behind him.
He took out a cage and threw the contents of his sack into the cage.
"Old Skinny, you lucky devil," he grinned to himself. "You're going to have a sumptuous dinner tonight - roast chicken with fries and salad!" He smacked his lips and danced in front of the cage.
"I wouldn't be so smug if I were you," said a voice from the cage.
Startled, Old Skinny stopped dancing and stared at the handsome bird in the cage.
"I don't believe it, a talking rooster!"
"You'd better believe it," said the rooster, staring back at him. "If you think you're gonna have a good meal tonight, you'd better think twice."
"What do you mean, you loud mouth?" he fumed.
"I've got Rooster Cytomegabite, that's what I mean." replied the rooster.
"Huh?"
"It's a disease which eats up my brains bit by bit, then it spreads to the rest of my body. If you eat me, you're gonna get sick!"
Old Skinny laughed. "What, do you take me for a fool? You're making up this story so that I won't cut you up. Now shut up! I'm going out to get some potatoes, then I'll be back to make a meal of you. Don't go away now ... hehehe!"
When Old Skinny came back, he found the rooster flat on his back. In fact, he looked quite dead.
"Hey, get up!" he shouted.
There was no response. He opened the cage and prodded the bird, hard.
The rooster opened one eye, then another.
"What's with you? Quit pretending!" snapped Old Skinny.
The rooster groaned and rubbed his head. "It's the Rooster Cytomegabite. It gives me dizzy spells, sometimes I faint. Ohhhh!"
He sat up, then stared at Old Skinny as though he had seen a ghost.
"Oh no....."
"What? Why are you staring at me like that?" shrieked the old man.
The rooster shook his head and said sadly, "It's got you."
"Who's got me?"
"Rooster Cytomegabite! I forgot to tell you not to touch me. It's very contagious - look, green spots are already appearing on your face!"
Old Skinny rushed to the mirror. "Oh my God," he whispered. (Of course there were no green spots on his face but he was so scared, he saw them.)
"You f.... bird! I'll get you for this...." He lunged towards the cage, terrified.
"Stop! Remember, don't touch me!" yelled the rooster.
Old Skinny stopped in his tracks. His face was ashen and he was shaking from head to toe.
"Ok, I'll make a bargain with you. I'll tell you how to cure yourself if you'll open the cage door and let me out." said the rooster slyly.
The old man didn't stop to think. He frantically flung open the cage door and shrank into a corner, moaning.
"Now listen carefully. To cure yourself, all you have to do is to crow like a rooster every morning at 5 a.m. for ten minutes. Do this for three consecutive days - same time, same place - and you'll be ok. Got it?"
With that the rooster flew out of the open window.
For the next three mornings, Old Skinny's neighbours wondered what had gotten into the old man. He got up at 5 sharp in the morning, crowed and flapped his arms like a rooster for ten minutes, then went back inside his hut. They shook their heads and said he had lost his mind.
Back at the temple
That evening on the same day that Bruce Lee went missing, there was another commotion in the backyard. We all rushed there and found to our delight that Bruce Lee was back. The hens were fussing over him and of course he was thoroughly enjoying their attention.
That night over dinner, we asked Head Nun what Bruce Lee had told her.
"Oh, he said last night, he was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming desire to "see the world" beyond the temple gates and ran out of the backyard. He wandered deep into the forest and met a deadly snake. They fought and he pecked it to death. Then he encountered a fierce tiger, they fought and he bit off its tail and sent it running away in pain. After that he decided he had enough and returned to the temple. On the way back, he ran again into the snake which he had taken for dead, fought with it a second time, then chewed it to death."
"Oh my God, what an adventure," gasped one of the nuns, wide eyed. "How brave he is," said another.
Head Nun laughed. "You know, I don't believe a word he said. Somebody nabbed him and he managed to escape, that's it. I told you, he's smart enough to outwit any human. He's making up that story so that he'll appear a great big hero in the hens' eyes. Come on, let's finish our dinner and go to bed."
Meanwhile in the backyard, Bruce Lee was telling the hens the story of his fantastic adventure in the forest. They listened to him the whole night, eyes as round as saucers and when dawn broke, they were so tired they could not even crow when the first rays of the morning sun hit the sky.
"He's going to be cut up and eaten for dinner," wailed some of the nuns.
"Alright, alright, keep calm," said Head Nun. "He's pretty smart. He'll be back, mark my words."
There was nothing we could do except wait and see.
Some two kilometres away
Old Skinny was seen carrying a sack into his dilapidated hut near the river. "What have you got there, old man, gold bars?" mocked a few of his neighbours. He ignored them, went into his hut and shut the door behind him.
He took out a cage and threw the contents of his sack into the cage.
"Old Skinny, you lucky devil," he grinned to himself. "You're going to have a sumptuous dinner tonight - roast chicken with fries and salad!" He smacked his lips and danced in front of the cage.
Startled, Old Skinny stopped dancing and stared at the handsome bird in the cage.
"I don't believe it, a talking rooster!"
"You'd better believe it," said the rooster, staring back at him. "If you think you're gonna have a good meal tonight, you'd better think twice."
"What do you mean, you loud mouth?" he fumed.
"I've got Rooster Cytomegabite, that's what I mean." replied the rooster.
"Huh?"
"It's a disease which eats up my brains bit by bit, then it spreads to the rest of my body. If you eat me, you're gonna get sick!"
Old Skinny laughed. "What, do you take me for a fool? You're making up this story so that I won't cut you up. Now shut up! I'm going out to get some potatoes, then I'll be back to make a meal of you. Don't go away now ... hehehe!"
When Old Skinny came back, he found the rooster flat on his back. In fact, he looked quite dead.
"Hey, get up!" he shouted.
There was no response. He opened the cage and prodded the bird, hard.
The rooster opened one eye, then another.
"What's with you? Quit pretending!" snapped Old Skinny.
The rooster groaned and rubbed his head. "It's the Rooster Cytomegabite. It gives me dizzy spells, sometimes I faint. Ohhhh!"
He sat up, then stared at Old Skinny as though he had seen a ghost.
"Oh no....."
"What? Why are you staring at me like that?" shrieked the old man.
The rooster shook his head and said sadly, "It's got you."
"Who's got me?"
"Rooster Cytomegabite! I forgot to tell you not to touch me. It's very contagious - look, green spots are already appearing on your face!"
Old Skinny rushed to the mirror. "Oh my God," he whispered. (Of course there were no green spots on his face but he was so scared, he saw them.)
"You f.... bird! I'll get you for this...." He lunged towards the cage, terrified.
"Stop! Remember, don't touch me!" yelled the rooster.
Old Skinny stopped in his tracks. His face was ashen and he was shaking from head to toe.
"Ok, I'll make a bargain with you. I'll tell you how to cure yourself if you'll open the cage door and let me out." said the rooster slyly.
The old man didn't stop to think. He frantically flung open the cage door and shrank into a corner, moaning.
"Now listen carefully. To cure yourself, all you have to do is to crow like a rooster every morning at 5 a.m. for ten minutes. Do this for three consecutive days - same time, same place - and you'll be ok. Got it?"
With that the rooster flew out of the open window.
For the next three mornings, Old Skinny's neighbours wondered what had gotten into the old man. He got up at 5 sharp in the morning, crowed and flapped his arms like a rooster for ten minutes, then went back inside his hut. They shook their heads and said he had lost his mind.
Back at the temple
That evening on the same day that Bruce Lee went missing, there was another commotion in the backyard. We all rushed there and found to our delight that Bruce Lee was back. The hens were fussing over him and of course he was thoroughly enjoying their attention.
That night over dinner, we asked Head Nun what Bruce Lee had told her.
"Oh, he said last night, he was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming desire to "see the world" beyond the temple gates and ran out of the backyard. He wandered deep into the forest and met a deadly snake. They fought and he pecked it to death. Then he encountered a fierce tiger, they fought and he bit off its tail and sent it running away in pain. After that he decided he had enough and returned to the temple. On the way back, he ran again into the snake which he had taken for dead, fought with it a second time, then chewed it to death."
"Oh my God, what an adventure," gasped one of the nuns, wide eyed. "How brave he is," said another.
Head Nun laughed. "You know, I don't believe a word he said. Somebody nabbed him and he managed to escape, that's it. I told you, he's smart enough to outwit any human. He's making up that story so that he'll appear a great big hero in the hens' eyes. Come on, let's finish our dinner and go to bed."
Meanwhile in the backyard, Bruce Lee was telling the hens the story of his fantastic adventure in the forest. They listened to him the whole night, eyes as round as saucers and when dawn broke, they were so tired they could not even crow when the first rays of the morning sun hit the sky.
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